Tuesday was supposed to be a busy day. I thought it would be when I woke up early in the morning. I was going to have two sets of rehearsals and teach in between in the afternoon. Supposed to be. Before my first rehearsal my classes were cancelled as my students weren’t performance ready for a show later this week and before the end of my first rehearsal my rehearsals for the evening were also cancelled. To add to this, the only rehearsal I had that day didn’t exactly go that well for me and to add insult to injury a choreographer messaged me to let me know that the cast for a musical I had auditioned for more in March was still not finalized. Perhaps in June the message from my inside source revealed.
I think everyone has days where they question themselves. Where they question their abilities, if they really have what it takes to make it. Today was my day. I usually love the fact that no two days of my week are cut from the same pattern, and normally the thought of a job that starts at 8 and ends at 4 or 5 would scare me half to death. But there’s something truly terrible about being lonely and depressed in the middle of the day. While everyone is busy with their work or class or lives.
The trick, I think, to this whole performance thing is just not to give up. I think those that make it are those that just carry on through the disappointment. Through the Tuesdays of their careers.